Wednesday, November 29, 2017

School Stories

Hey Jammers! Nafaria here.

I'm sure you've all had those days where nothing - and I mean NOTHING - interesting happens at school whatsoever. Most of my days are like that.

Thankfully, I have had a couple of school days that weren't all that boring, and they make for great storytelling. So, today, I thought it would be fun if I shared a few school stories of mine, some of which are pretty embarrassing. With that being said, enjoy!

1. I went to a charter school for most of my elementary years, and at my school, you would have the same teacher for three consecutive years. The grades were split into two different groups: Lower El, which included grades 1-3, and Upper El, grades 4-6.

I was in fifth grade at the time, and my teacher, Ms. Souzzann, had something called Silent Reading Time. It was for a half an hour each day during the afternoon, right after recess. We could read any book we wanted, and we could even grab a pillow or two to be extra comfy.

One day I was dashing as fast as I could to get a pillow (because most people grab them all within the first five seconds that we're back in the classroom), and I guess I had some gas in me from lunch, because as I was running I let out the biggest, loudest fart ever. I quickly tried to get out of the area where I farted so people wouldn't think it was me, but my face was blushing beet red for the entire 30 minutes. In the end, I didn't get my pillow.

2. This next story took place during my fourth grade year, so my teacher was still Mrs. Souzzann. At my charter school, they didn't have a cafeteria. They made us bring our own lunches from home every day, and we would eat them on our own personal placements on our desks in the classroom. We could also heat up our food with a microwave if we wanted to.

Well, one day, I was about to start eating my freshly warmed up Panda Express leftovers from dinner the night before when the fire alarm went off. We didn't get the clear to come back into the building until after our lunch period was over, so I didn't get to eat my Panda Express as early as I had intended to.

Apparently, some little kid, probably a first or second grader, was heating up a corn dog in the microwave out in the hallway, and set the timer for 30:00 instead of three minutes. Yeah, it's probably not a good idea to let children use the microwave unsupervised.

3. When I was in third grade (my teacher being Ms. Nicole), the charter school I went to was in its very first year, so a lot of things were pretty new and small, such as the playground. For about a week or so, some construction workers were putting in some poles for a gate, and the cement where the poles were supposed to go was still wet, so my friend and I carved our initials into the wet cement with a wood chip, and sure enough, the cement hardened, and our intials are still there to this day.

4. I was at a public school for my kindergarten, first, and second grade years. I was in second grade at the time when my baby sister was born, and for some unknown, strange reason, I decided to bring my newborn sibling to school for Show-and-Tell. No, I didn't actually drag her into the classroom with me; my mom came later during the day when it was actually time to do Show-and-Tell. Of course, my sister just sat there, being the chunky lump of chubbiness that she was, and didn't move a muscle. She just looked around like a deer caught in headlights the whole time.

5. Also in second grade, I was on the cover of a newspaper along with my mom, my brother, and my sister. My mom was sitting in an office chair with a telephone up to her ear, my sister was on her lap, my brother tugging on the telephone cord, and I was whispering in her ear. It was a newspaper for moms, if you haven't assumed already, and the main article was about my mom and how she gave up her career to raise a family. It just so happened that my teacher was subscribed to that newspaper, saw me on the front page, brought it to school that day, and showed everyone in my class. I thought I was the coolest kid around, all because a picture of me whispering in my mom's ear was on the front of a newspaper.

6. In sixth grade, I ran for student council, and for my speech I did a rap. It was really, really cringy. My opponent did a parody of the Cup Song, though, and that was pretty cringy as well, but she ended up winning.

7. At my school we had composition notebooks for every subject we studied, no matter how little we actually studied them: math, language, Spanish, history, botany, zoology, and geography. We also had a book for journaling, and we would write a short paragraph or two in them every so often.

I, however, was the odd third grader who used my journaling notebook a lot more than everyone else in the classroom, all because I was writing a big, fat story of mumbo-jumbo that didn't make any sense. I thought it was absolutely hilarious, though, and so did all of my classmates. Sometimes I would even beg my teacher to let me read a chapter out loud to the class, and once or twice, she let me.

One of the scenes I remember being exceptionally funny to young me was something along the lines of this: I was a ramen noodle bowl with eyes and a mouth stuck at a disco party in heaven with Elmo and Megamind. Not knowing I was living, Megamind slurped me up. I squirmed around, hoping I wouldn't fall down his esophagus. I tugged on some ''weird strings'' I had found, which caused Megamind to throw me up. Then I asked him why he had such a large head, and he said it was because he ate a watermelon whole and somehow it went through the wrong tube and got stuck in his skull.

Yeah... I had, erm... quite the imagination...

8. One week during the fall in eighth grade, my family and I took a trip to Disneyland. Naturally, I had a lot of make-up work to do. My idiotic French teacher (who truthfully didn't teach me anything at all) handed me this map of some subways and roads in France, along with a worksheet that corresponded with it. The questions were extremely easy. Most of them were like, ''What color is the subway that starts at Paris and goes to Bordeaux?'' The only problem was that the map was printed out in black and white, so what the heck was I supposed to write down? Dark grey? Medium gray? Light gray? Ugh.

9. Speaking of my French teacher, he was so lazy that one time, he didn't bother preparing a lesson, so he turned on March Madness, put it on the projector, and that's all we did for the entire period. March Madness, my dudes. In French class. At least it was an easy course.

10. Last one for today. In fourth grade, we had to write a research paper on a hominid. I was assigned Ardipithicus. Back then, I thought history was the most boring and worst subject ever, so instead of typing up my research paper, I copied and pasted the entire Wikipedia article on Ardipithicus and handed it in. I didn't have a clue what plagiarizing was yet, though, so you can't really blame me because I didn't know what I was doing was wrong.

Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed some of these stories! Feel free to tell me about your embarrassing/funniest school moments in the comments. Bye!


  1. Oh my goodness!!!! This post made me laugh. XD XD XD

  2. 1. Oh no XDD
    4. Oh goodness XDDD
    6.I hate raps XDD I only like about 2
    8. Wowww

    2. Whoa you get to eat inside AND you get a microwave? Lucky! (By the way, children should always be supervised while using appliances. Always.)
    3. LOL that's great! My school's been here for like 40 years so I never had any chance to do that.
    4. XD I would have probably done that too if I had show and tell. (I didn't have show and tell.)
    5. I wish I could be on a newspaper. :-: My mom would never give up her job. (I wish she could tho. But then free healthcare is much better I guess)
    6. If we had student council for my school, I would have done a rap. Or something Hamilton-themed. NO. WAIT. A HAMILTON-THEMED RAP. :D
    7. I love this story. Quality 10/10 would read again
    8. Ikr! Don't you just love it when teachers do that kind of stuff?! I also love it when teachers print out stuff black-and-white so you can't tell where the outlines or words are. .-.
    9. Your French teacher is a great man. Really.
    10. *applause* GREAT JOB NAFFY! If I was ever caught plagiarizing (especially from Wikipedia) I would be dead. But like you said, can't really blame anyone if they didn't know it was wrong. (Right?)
    I love your stories! My class is really, really crazy, so every day is pretty much a new story. I really enjoyed this post! You should make more stuff about irl things. I'd love more of your crazy stories!

  4. you're too old to play aj you c r e e p

    1. oh no
      i have triggered vlanar the almighty angry russian vegan
      we must hide the children and the women
      no one is safe

  5. Bahahaha!!!!! Sorry this is late, I'm finally back from holiday :D

    Let's see, some of mine:

    1. One time, we had to write using pictures as guides and go in pairs. Since there weren't enough people, I was stuck with two other 'friends.' We picked a picture of a pony and something else. We argued how the story would go, but since I was 'outvoted', I got upset and cried in front of the classroom, and ended up writing by myself. Super cringy 0-0

    2. Another time there was a talent show at school. Me, thinking I was superb in singing, had a go in singing 'Once Upon A December' from Anastasia. Of course, I didn't really practice, and it was really off note and stuff, and I've never really sung a note again, except when I'm goofing around and singing quotes from silly songs......

    There are more, plenty more, which I'm not really gonna share, so you could pretty much say I'm a bit of an idiot before, and probably still now. There are probably gonna be more when I'm sent back to school next year.......... 0-0


  6. This isn't really funny, but it's interesting, so... today I was walking into my classroom and I tripped over a chair, and everybody (including the annoying class clown) were asking if I was ok. My english teacher came running up and took me to the clinic and I went home.

    1. Wow, lucky you...........

      One time I injured myself at school, just a little cut. I asked for a bandage/plaster, and they're like "Nope". At least your teacher is caring......... :D


  7. I only read the first three but oh myXD

  8. Hahahaha :') Once in year 5 we had to do a research project about Greece. So I wrote something like... "This is the bank of Athens. All I know is that it's big and white".
    Some more recent stories...
    ~ 2 years ago, when I was like 14,we were making salad or something for food tech and had to bring knives. So before the lesson we have a break, I'm talking to a guy, then I feel someone behind me. I turn around and this weirdo is standing there with his knife, staring me down. Nobody got hurt (:
    ~ In Geography I had an argument with my teacher about socialism. So I said why I don't support it, and she ended up roasting me. I don't have the power to roast her back, so since that day she not so subtly shows how much she doesn't like me.
    ~In Polish earlier this year. My teacher really doesn't like me. Yeah, another one. What is life even. So I'm hungry,and decide to go out quickly so I can eat something (I'm chronically ill).So I walk up and politely say "Miss". She looks at me with a death stare, then in the most menacing tone says "What do you want".I step back kinda, trying not to laugh. Note my food is hidden in my uniform pocket.I ask if I can go to the toilet. Another death stare, then "No.". She'd let anyone else go, just not me (:
    - I know this is anonymous as I can't remember the login details of my old accounts right now, but this is CleverQueen. I'm meant to be studying for a history test right now, but I'm procrastinating by checking up on blogs I used to read when I was active on AJ. I know I might as well say I'm the Queen of Africa, but eh :)


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