Monday, September 19, 2016

How to Become a "Bay Be Watermelon Pirate"

Greetings and salutations. In today's post, I am going to be showing you how to become a ''bay be watermelon pirate''.

First, you must to create the perfect watermelon pirate look. Victory here will model the items and colors necessary for this project:


You will need some red safari boots to keep your feet protected as you proceed with your journeys across the seven seas as a pirate, a golden sword to slice and dice your mummy sister panda figures with, and to top it all off a black and white eye patch, just for extra fierceness. Then you will need some rocker tail rings to help give off those punk vibes, and a tattered scarf, just so that people don't look at you and automatically think you're some crazy psycho pirate dude and NOT a bay be watermelon.

Next you will need to die your fur different shades of bright green and red, so that everyone knows you're a watermelon.

The last step is to go outside, get adopted by a mummy sister panda figure, demand to go to the movies, throw a huge tantrum, and then devour and send your mummy sister panda figure to the under realm. Repeat this process until you die.


Voila! You're the perfect picture of a bay be watermelon pirate. See? It's THAT simple!

Call now and order your VERY OWN bay be watermelon pirate kit today at 999-999-9999 for just $19.99! If you call in the next 24 hours you will receive a second kit for FREE! That's right folks! For FREE! That's 999-999-9999! CALL NOW!

And most importantly...

TELL ALL THE BUDDIES!!!

:)

21 comments:

  1. I love this post so much. WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS HOW MUCBI LOVE THIS POST!

    ReplyDelete
  2. *Calls 999-999-9999*
    Oh geez WHAT IS THAT
    *Realizes it is fake*
    *Hangs Up*

    ReplyDelete
  3. *Calls the number*
    "Excuse me, is this Nafaria9's Bay Be Watermelon Package phone number?"
    "Yes. How can I help you?"
    "I'd like to place an order for your packages deal?"
    "Whats your usename?"
    "*********( Nafaria knows mine, but for safety reasons, it will mot be disclosed to people)"
    " Alrighty, whats your mastercard?"
    "2011 JAMAA"
    " Thank you. Hour order is being processed right now."

    Thanks Naffy for this post!!! ������

    ReplyDelete
  4. Do you accept waffles as payment? I NEED TO BECOME A BAY BE WATERMELON PIRATE!1!1!1!!1!
    -Kraft

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yay! *throws 34984728 waffles at Naffy

      Now I can be MelonKraft :DDD

      Delete
  5. *calls 999-999-9999* Its not working! *does it again* Oh wait.. this might be fake *relizes* *hangs up*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oops. I acidently did 1 to many 9's! *calls it again* *buys a baby water melon pirate* TY NAFFY! XD

      Delete
  6. Replies
    1. Awesome! I hope you find our product finely crafted and in high quality.

      Delete
  7. *Calls*
    Hey can I get 2 watermelon kites

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry, we don't sell watermelon kites, but that's a great suggestion. However, we do sell bay be watermelon pirate kits!

      Delete
    2. *Calls again*
      When you get watermelon kites please (fake) call me at 000-000-0000.

      Delete

  8. Nerd Glasses
    Rare orange foxhat
    Purple Headfeather
    Black Ninja Mask
    Slingshot
    Black Headfeather
    Long silver spike
    Custume tophat (Magenta tophat)
    Glitched MAGENTA lasso (perfect for your magenta outfits!
    Mystic wings
    Sewing Machine
    and Frozen Fountain

    AND MORE! for a HD (idc what color) PLZZZ SOMEONE JAG ME
    BANANA CHEESECAKE

    or if you are nm I like your den! With a Phantom stamp (or just a JAG with a Phantom stamp XD)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just-a-saying, magenta lassos aren't glitched.

      Delete
  9. .......................................................... what????????????????????? Calls The phone: "The number you dialed is not answering plz try later"
    Me:"The number you have answered is angry and will eat you. Chomp Oops

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hahahahahaaaaaa!! XDDD XDDDD This is too funny!

    At least here I can laugh. In real life I was sitting in my room, snuffling and snorting like a Pig, trying to hold in my laughter so I don't wake up Dad from his nap. XD

    (DXplorergirl)

    ReplyDelete

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